How to check if you're posted in an AWDTSG group, without joining
Last checked September 2026 · Everyone can see it except you
First you have to know which group
“Are We Dating The Same Guy” isn't one group. It's more than 200 private Facebook groups, one for each city or region, and on top of those there are copycat groups using the same name — the organisation behind the official ones warns about them itself. The group that matters is the one covering where you live and date.
From the outside you can see a group's name and how many members it has. You can't see a single post. Joining means answering screening questions and being approved by the admins, and they approve women only.
The five options
| Option | Cost | Does it work? |
|---|---|---|
| Google or Facebook search | Free | No — private posts don't show up |
| Requesting to join | Free | No — screened out, and a fake profile backfires |
| Waiting to hear about it | Free | No — late, secondhand, and no link |
| Ask a woman you trust | Free | Yes — if she's in the right group |
| Pay a service | $49 once | Yes — screenshots and links as proof |
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Google or Facebook search
Dead end. Posts in a private group are visible to members only, so Google never indexes them and Facebook's own search won't show them to you. Finding the group's page tells you the group exists — nothing about what's been said inside it.
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Requesting to join
Dead end. Every request goes through screening questions and an admin who checks the profile, and men are declined. A fake female profile breaks Facebook's rules on using your real identity, and if it is ever spotted, it hands the group the exact story you were hoping wasn't there.
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Waiting to hear about it
It feels like the safe option, but it isn't one. When word does reach you, it reaches you late — after the post has been read, commented on and screenshotted — and in the form of “someone said you're in that group”. That gives you no wording and no link, and a post without a link is one you can't report or have removed.
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Ask a woman you trust
Free, and it works — with one catch the Tea App doesn't have: she has to be a member of the group for your area, or request to join it and wait to be approved. Before you ask:
- Know what you're handing over. Your name, your photos, and the fact that you were worried enough to ask. She sees whatever is there before you do. This is sensitive, and most men are uncomfortable asking a woman to do it — which is why most never ask anyone.
- Make sure it's the right group. Copycat groups use the same name. The official groups are listed on the organisation's own website.
- Get the link to the post, not only a screenshot. Reporting and removal both start from the link. Without it, you have to ask her all over again.
- Ask how she searched. Your first name, your photo, where you work, and the comments under other posts. A single search of your name that came back empty doesn't mean you aren't there.
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Pay a service
This is what we do. A person searches the AWDTSG group covering your region and the Tea App by hand, then sends you screenshots, the direct links, and proof of where they looked — including everywhere that came back empty. $49 once, usually back within a few hours. If your region's group can't be reached, we tell you, run the Tea App search on its own and refund $20 automatically.
If it turns out you're posted
- Don't sit on it. A live post is being read and screenshotted, and screenshots travel where no report can follow.
- Don't message the admins or whoever posted. It rarely changes anything, and it can become the next post.
- Don't pay anyone to remove it. If your photo is in it, the copyright route is free and works best.
Worried about the Tea App too? It works differently — one app for the whole country, not a group per city. How to check the Tea App without an account.
Already have the link? How to report an AWDTSG post explains what Facebook will and won't remove.
Have the right group searched — and get the links
If there's nobody you'd want to ask, that's what we're for. A person searches the AWDTSG group covering your region and the Tea App by hand and sends you what they find, either way. $49 once, usually back within a few hours.
Find out where you're posted →This page describes how these groups work from the outside and is not legal advice. Shield Date is not affiliated with Are We Dating The Same Guy or Facebook, and does not contact posters, negotiate with group moderators, or attempt removals for anyone.